Pictured Above: Talking- Kyle Lewandowski
Using Technology to Bully
With the rapid advancement of technology, bullying behavior has become a part of many children’s experience online. Cyberbullying is when the Internet, cell phones, or other devices are used to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person. It encompasses a range of activities from sending emails or text messages to someone who has requested no further contact with the sender, but may also include threats, sexual harassment, inappropriate photos, and ridiculing someone publically in online forums. Some children who cyberbully may post lies, rumors or gossip about the target and encourage others to share and distribute that information.
Many parents are particularly concerned about cyberbullying because while adults often have an understanding of the bullying that happens face to face, using technology to hurt someone else may be a new phenomenon for them. While cyberbullying is still less common than traditional bullying, it can be particularly damaging because it:
Plan to Protect Your Child From CyberbullyingToday’s children are the first generation to experience cyberbullying, and today’s parents are the first that must determine how to respond to it. Remember, giving children access to technology is much like sending them to a mall or school dance. Children have rules, curfews, and guidelines when they venture into the outside world – they also need them in the cyber world. Set the rules, establish the parameters, and learn the technology. In fact, let your children show you how the technology works.
As you venture into this territory, consider these steps:
Technology offers your children many advantages and benefits – and occasionally some risks. The solution is not to remove their access to technology, but to manage these risks. You can do that by being aware of your child’s cyber activities, learning about new technologies, and setting rules for your child’s online use.
With the rapid advancement of technology, bullying behavior has become a part of many children’s experience online. Cyberbullying is when the Internet, cell phones, or other devices are used to send or post text or images intended to hurt or embarrass another person. It encompasses a range of activities from sending emails or text messages to someone who has requested no further contact with the sender, but may also include threats, sexual harassment, inappropriate photos, and ridiculing someone publically in online forums. Some children who cyberbully may post lies, rumors or gossip about the target and encourage others to share and distribute that information.
Many parents are particularly concerned about cyberbullying because while adults often have an understanding of the bullying that happens face to face, using technology to hurt someone else may be a new phenomenon for them. While cyberbullying is still less common than traditional bullying, it can be particularly damaging because it:
- can happen even after the child leaves school for the day,
- can be anonymous,
- is frequently very public with a potentially unlimited audience, and
- is often easier to be cruel when you don’t have face to face interaction.
Plan to Protect Your Child From CyberbullyingToday’s children are the first generation to experience cyberbullying, and today’s parents are the first that must determine how to respond to it. Remember, giving children access to technology is much like sending them to a mall or school dance. Children have rules, curfews, and guidelines when they venture into the outside world – they also need them in the cyber world. Set the rules, establish the parameters, and learn the technology. In fact, let your children show you how the technology works.
As you venture into this territory, consider these steps:
- Raise the topic of cyberbullying with your child
- Now that you know bullying online is a real possibility, initiate the conversation. Bullying can be hard for children to talk about with their parents for many reasons. They might be embarrassed by what is happening, afraid that if they tell that it will get worse, or think it is their problem. Online bullying can add additional complications. Many students can recognize bullying when it happens in person, but students might not interpret the mean and hurtful behavior that happens on their computer or cell phone as bullying. Children often think that if they tell their parents they are being cyberbullied, their parent’s first reaction will be to “protect them” by removing their access to technology.
Open the subject for discussion, and tell your child:- “I understand how important it is to communicate with your friends by phone and online.”
- “You deserve to be safe from bullying online, just like at school.”
- “If something happening online is hurtful to you, it is bullying, and it’s important to tell me about it.”
- Set cyber safety rules
- You set safety rules for your child in the physical world. Do the same in your child’s cyberworld. Remind your children that they never know who is on the other end of cyber communication. It could be the person they think it is, but because they cannot see that person, they should always proceed with caution in their exchanges.
- Never give out your e-mail password, a photo, or any personal data, such as a physical description, phone number, or address. A person bullying could use that information to harass you in many ways.
- Never share too many personal details. For example, if you keep an online diary, someone could use that information to bully or ridicule you.
- Never share your Instant Messaging (IM) account password with anyone, even your best friend. That friend may share it with others – or the friendship may end – and your private messages could suddenly become public. A cyberbully with your password can sign on, pretend to be you, and behave inappropriately with others to embarrass and humiliate you.
- Keep social media accounts private and do not “friend” people you do not know.
- Never respond with “revenge bullying,” as this can lead to a cycle of not only being bullied, but also become someone who bullies.
- With that in mind, here are two good guidelines: “Don’t do or say anything online that you wouldn’t do or say in person," and, "Don’t reveal anything online that you wouldn’t tell a stranger.” Specific advice for your child might include:
- Know what your children are doing online
- Privacy is important, but safety is more important. As a parent, you have a responsibility to know what your child is doing online. Establish rules about your access to your child’s cell phones, text history, social networking sites, and other accounts they may use for posting information. Make decisions about passwords, how often you will check the accounts, and how inappropriate information will be handled.
Keep your child’s computer in an open area, such as the family room, where you can supervise your child’s Internet activity. Decide if there will be limits on access to using technology to communicate with peers, such as no computer or texting after 9 p.m., during meals, or until homework is done.
If you do discover that your child is experiencing cyberbullying, document it by printing the e-mails or web pages, saving electronic copies, and contacting your child’s school or the police.
Technology offers your children many advantages and benefits – and occasionally some risks. The solution is not to remove their access to technology, but to manage these risks. You can do that by being aware of your child’s cyber activities, learning about new technologies, and setting rules for your child’s online use.